Let's Get Real
When it gets difficult is often just before you succeed.
Confession time. I am Lena's writer and I hijacked her blog to prank her a little bit. How it works is we interview for her newest blog post. She tells me what she wants to convey to her readers and I try to fashion her ideas into something that is enjoyable for her readers to read. We interviewed earlier today and I just got this impish idea that it would be funny to prank Lena since she had felt a bit under the weather while in NYC. I messaged Syndi and got her permission and then my imagination and I went to town. This was never meant to be published, but she decided she wanted to publish it anyway because she and her friends got such a kick out of it.
A whole lot of this post is just out of my imagination. A little bit of it may or may not be true but it is up to the reader to decide which parts are true. It was a fun little post and as the writer I sure hope you enjoy reading it and imagining Lena's dismay at first wondering just where I was going with her blog post obout her trip to NYC this week.
Too funny! I literally peed my pants (a little bit) getting updates from Sydni as Lena first read the post. She thought I had lost my ever lovin' mind.
Lena asked me to convey to her readers that there is a "real" NYC post coming up soon!
Let's be real, we take many blurry selfies we never share with our readers and followers!
Sydni and I went to NYC earlier this week for the Texworld Show in the Garment District in midtown Manhattan. It was an amazing time for the most part.
Actually, let me just get honest with you for a moment. Syndi and I both started with the flu and cold before we ever left the ground on Monday. We felt like crap, but we sucked it up, packed our suitcases and headed out like the troopers we are. Our flight out of Cleveland was later in the day and when we boarded the plane the flight attendant couldn't find a seat belt extender for me. She told me to take a seat and she'd bring me one. Thinking nothing of it, Sydni and I found our seats, sat down and to my dismay I hear on the loud speaker, "all flight attendants be on the lookout for a seat belt extender, the lady in row 24 in the blush colored sweater needs one." I heard her sigh and then hang up. Every head on that plane turned towards me. I'm not easily embarrassed, but I was that day! Not feeling good and then to be shamed on top of it wasn't making my day at all!
Sydni and I were both hanging our heads pretty low by the time we landed in The Big Apple Monday night. We hailed a taxi and headed straight to our hotel. We had a gorgeous hotel, but who really noticed anything? Not us!
We ordered some expensive pizza and I hit the hay. I was so tired I didn’t care about anything. Sydni, on the other hand, scarfed down the pizza and watched that hyped up show, The Bachelor. I’ve been able to teach my girls a lot of good things, but she insists on watching that crazy show which is more like a pimp and his prostitutes than anything I’ve ever seen before!
Sorry, just felt that rant coming on.
I know..”More Faith Than Fear.” I just need to have more faith or I fear I’m going to have to ground that girl yet!
How about more honesty? If there is one thing I always hope to do is to empower women by telling the truth. The truth is our trip was drop dead horrible. We went to eat breakfast at this well advertised place we found on Instagram and honestly, they had four, count them, four kinds of pastries on their menu and nothing else. We were looking forward to a nice NYC breakfast. These people aren't Nashville, that's for sure! Give me some Biscuit Love! To say we were disappointed is just an understatement!
We attended the Texworld show on Tuesday and although it was fun there and we saw some really cool textiles we came away with less. Less of everything. Less on the East coast, more on the West coast. Bring on another fabric show on the West Coast!
We were so sick on Tuesday that after, basically infecting everyone around us, we stopped off at a statcare and got doctored up. They actually gave us medical marijuana to help us cope with the pain of coughing and hacking! That was some good stuff!
Now, did I say, “let me get honest” a bit ago? I did, didn’t I? Well, I’m about to get real honest with you.
So, when you are a mama and have pushed out three babies things get a little bit loosy-goosy and when you cough, well, you pee. I’m just going to be honest, you pee. I peed all over NYC. We kept having to return to the hotel room so I could change out of my underwear and rinse it out and hang it up to dry so that I had enough underwear to wear while we were gone. I even considered purchasing Depends underwear because having pee flow down into my “get sh*t done” shoes is not funny at all!
That's not too much TMI for all of you is it?
I figured if I have this problem many other ladies probably suffer in silence with the same issue. Like me, their lives must go on somehow even if they are coughing and hacking and peeing their pants and changing underwear and wishing for Depends. I came up with an idea.
You never know where or why an idea might hit you but when it does you always want to be prepared and read to act on your ideas. (That's a tip.)
Lena Piddles and Bertha Extenders
As soon as we arrived back home from NYC on Thursday we called our production team together and had a meeting.We are all about solutions to problems and this one was going to be easier than ever to solve!
At the moment we are creating our own Depends style underwear and since ruffles are fashionable again we will add ruffles to the backside to make them a little bit more sexy and appealing.
The cool thing is, while shopping around the Garment District we came across a textile that is lightweight and waterproof so our Farmhouse Frock's style Depends will be reusable. All you have to do is throw them in the washer and Viola! New pair of underwear for the cougher/peer lady in your life...or yourself!
Because of my being shamed in front of all the passengers on that plane we also have come up with another line, "Bertha Extenders." We are still working on the proper material to use for those, but you can be sure they won't be ugly. Oh no, we will add our signature ruffle or lace to the seat belt extender so all us plus size ladies can fly in style and never have to be shamed again!
I can't wait to introduce you to our "Lena Piddles and Bertha Extender" lines just as soon as they are hot off our seamstress's sewing machines! We can do all colors and the fabric is fabulous. Trust me! I'm looking forward to my next cold!
I’m so excited about our new lines line that I basically don’t even care about the rest of the trip. It was FUN, that is all you really have to know! Who cares about the pictures we took? Google New York City, we have more of the same!
So what is the moral to this story? I’m not really sure, but I do know I feel a lot better being honest with you my readers. Who else relates to my situation? Anyone bold enough to admit it?
See you next week!
Based on the evidence so far, I’m forced to conclude. Nothing is really impossible for you. your article is very good.
Ok, this is good! I now I have tears rolling down my cheeks. With you post and what just happened to me while reading it. You see, the middlest of my 5 children had just sent me a text message, as I was reading this blog post. (That’s not the funny part). He said he got off work and saw a homeless woman and went and bought her a sandwich and gave it to her and she said ‘no thank you’. And I meant to send him a reply of this emoji lady (that my grown children helped me to create) that resembles me. The reply was meant to be this likeness surprised. Well my son was surprised alright. I had been reading for a while and my 57 year old eyes were seeing a bit blurry. And. I sent him my emojis lady popping her middle finger. I have never popped my middle finger in my life. Well, until I just did at my middlest child. Who I am hoping is laughing so hard he’s crying and that’s why he hasn’t texted back….
I better call. PS. Thanks for the good read in the middle of all of that.
Oh, yes! There’s nothing I fear more than that cough or sneeze that catches me unprepared – it’s so embarrassing!
This blog was the best! It sounds like real life! Hahaha! Thanks!
I feel her piddle pain and cant wait to see her version of Depends.
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