Empowering Women of all Sizes

The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence. -Blake Lively

Something that is empowering makes you feel confident. I see many ladies walking around with a lack of confidence and my personal mission is to live my life in such a way that would inspire women to become confident within.

Confidence is a belief one has about themselves and so many women believe more negative things about themselves than positive things. The culture we live in does nothing to boost our confidence, we see the images of beautiful, slender models in magazines and on television and often believe we have to look like them or we aren’t worthy of time and money spent on ourselves, and even not worthy of respect and love. Our self talk can be our worst enemy.

Recently, I’d been feeling down in my spirit and praying about my mom’s situation and felt I wanted to do something that was positive and I felt like God spoke to me to give. I was getting ready to clean out my closet of my Farmhouse Frocks so I can restock with new items. Giving to others has a way of lifting me out of my funk. Since I was wanting to freshen up my wardrobe, why not gift my closet to a lady who could use a boost of confidence through a wardrobe that is beautiful and flattering to her figure?

(Many of you know that my mom had a stroke about eight weeks ago and her left side is paralyzed and she is unable to walk. She is at home but has a long road to recovery. We are so thankful for all the small victories and blessings, but I have to be honest when I tell you this has not been easy for our family. Seeing my mom needing help to do the simplest tasks is almost more than I can bear at times.)

I had no idea what the response would be like when I posted about my wardrobe giveaway on social media. To say I was pleasantly surprised is an understatement. I was blown away with the raw honesty as I read through every comment. I could tell some of the ladies who nominated themselves found themselves in a vulnerable position, writing from their heart. Others were complimentary of a deserving person in their lives and it was quickly obvious to me I needed some help to decide who would be the one person to receive my wardrobe.

Syd and I discussed it and decided to ask our friend LeeAnn to stop by and help us with the giveaway. Together we discussed and prayed over every vulnerable and honest comment and looked at my stacks of clothing. We wanted to touch as many size 3X ladies as possible after we saw what the response looked like. We ended up giving away three full wardrobes to three deserving ladies of approximately 10- 14 outfits each. And then we also gave away five separate outfits to five other ladies. One lady had written that she needed a dress for her daughter’s wedding. I had a one of a kind dress made for me for a wedding and it was hanging in my closet waiting on another occasion. I decided this lady’s daughter’s wedding was why that dress was hanging in my closet and gifted it to her for her daughter’s upcoming wedding.

Even a couple of my friends were inspired when they found about my giveaway and they got involved in their own way. My friend Barb added a hair makeover for one of the ladies. Another friend sent a $50 gift card for underwear to go with one of the wardrobe boxes. Barb is a the founder of The Blessing Design Team and has a heart for hurting women. She has been active in helping many ladies gain self confidence as she and the team have given out all kinds of makeovers. I am a part of the team and we have done many home tour fundraisers to help fund the makeovers. It is one of my favorite charities I’m a part of.

From My Plus Size Heart To Yours

What I realized when I was reading over all the comments for the giveaway is that many of the ladies had a lack of self confidence. I’m sure life experiences and self talk are at the heart of it and so I wanted to share from my heart. I’ve been plus size all my life and my girls always tell me they never thought that I was plus sized. I believe this is true because early on I’ve chosen to be a confident person, to be comfortable in my own skin and even start a clothing line because I couldn’t find clothing that made me feel good when I was wearing it.

Most plus size clothing doesn’t fit right, falling at the midsection and showing off what we want to hide. We have enough challenges as a society of fitting in and it makes a difference if we have clothing that fits us well. Everyone feels something when they go to their closet to pick out an outfit. Either we are satisfied with our choices or we are indifferent, resolved to the fact that we have three outfits that are comfortable and somewhat flattering and rotate those three outfits all the time. Many plus size ladies don’t think they are valuable enough to spend money on a couple nice pieces that fit properly and their self talk isn’t helping them with their confidence level.

Beyond believing one should invest in a few nice pieces of clothing, and I suggest starting at  Farmhousefrocks.com, I also want to share with you a few other ways that I boost my own confidence.

  • Don’t play the victim of your weight. You are only a victim if you allow yourself to be one. Think about what it takes to be an overcomer and change your mindset.
  • Don’t self sabotage; talking badly about yourself. “I’m so fat, I can’t do x,y and z..I don’t want to go because I don’t have anything to wear.” Not only are you making others feel uncomfortable when you say negative things but it doesn’t help you. A great way to overcome negative self talk is to look into a mirror and say, “I am beautiful” ten times, say it until you believe it.
  • Think about your shape in a term other than the three letter f-word. I like to call myself fluffy.
  • Even if you can’t afford lots of clothes, invest in one piece at a time until you have several outfits that you love and feel comfortable in. You will be surprised how confident and good you will feel about yourself when you start wearing flattering clothes that hang right and have a proper hemline.
  • Make self care a priority. Treat yourself from time to time. A nice bubble bath, a candle, get a haircut, get a pedi. Everyone needs a break and when you go take your shower take a couple extra moments for yourself. Light a candle while you are bathing, or take time to shave your legs. If you feel taken care of you can take better care of those around you.
  • Often it doesn’t take much to change our attitude from overwhelmed to feeling confident.
  • Know what calms you down and helps you spiritually. I find comfort in music, I listen to Pandora praise and worship music. What feeds your eyes and ears is what is in your soul.
  • Find your passion; a hobby or something that excites you and doing. The better you get at doing what your passion is the more confident you will feel.
  • Be intentional who you surround yourself with. Negative people bring you down, positive people will build you up.
  • Wear makeup. If you don’t know how to apply it watch free tutorials on youtube or go to the mall and ask for a makeover at the makeup counter. Ask the ladies at the counter for tips and tricks. They are always willing to teach.
  • Have time away from your phone. Shut it off, keep it in a drawer and don’t answer calls and text messages for a period of time. Even a half hour is a start. It will make you feel more calm and relaxed when you don’t have to be worrying about answering right away.
  • Call your girlfriends and plan a dinner with each other. Who says they always have to call you.
  • Seek wise counsel. If you are depressed and in a funk and you can’t fathom trying one or two of my tips you may need professional help. It will make a world of a difference when you go with an open mind and apply what you learn to your life.

I want to encourage you not to be so hard on yourselves. You are enough. Recognize the voices that come from the enemy, the ones that oppose who you are. “You shouldn’t take time for yourself, you are too fat, you are too depressed, you are too ugly.” Those negative voices are not who you are. Rather choose to find ways to care for yourself, making sure you take an extra few minutes for yourself. Invest in a few key pieces for your wardrobe so that when you go out you will always feel confident and empowered to do what God meant for you to do.

Looking back on how this began, I was feeling down because of my mom's situation, I prayed, God prompted me to give, I followed through with his prompting and then many of our followers responded to the giveaway and next thing we had an abundance of product to give away, kind of like the "loaves and fishes" story in the Bible and we were able to give to quite a few more ladies than just have one big giveaway. In the end, I was the one who was blessed beyond words and my spirits have been lifted. It works that way ladies, if you stay true to who you are and do what comes natural within you and you walk with more faith than fear you will always come out feeling confident and blessed. 

Confidence comes from discipline and training. -Robert Kiyosaki

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4 comments

  • What you did is incredible! As a plus size gal myself, I had a hard time spending money on clothes. I always felt I would buy the clothes I really wanted “after I lose the weight”. That never happened. I remember the first frocks I bought from you, and emailing you that buying them was “really a stretch for me”. I’m so glad I purchased them, and will be back for many more in the future! No matter what size we are, we all deserve to feel beautiful, and wear beautiful clothing!

    • Stephanie
  • Lena, you are a blessing.

    • Sheila Hanna
  • Thank you for your faith and wanting to help women, you are a blessing. I nomated a cousin a young mom. I am hoping to get her to ready your blogs…I know if I pray your blogs will help her….thank you.

    • Karen WIlson
  • You have put a bright light in my life blessing ladies who can use an inspiration and love from a complete stranger is the best

    • Carmalita